As an extremely single individual who has never been in love, absolutely nothing! You see my friends, it turns out that a lot of things I thought I knew are in fact, false. Though this is not completely a surprise to me. I feel that we as a society are quick to believe things, or is that just me? Might be. Don't believe everything you read, they said, and believe me, I am trying my best. Anyway, I am here to discuss the two parts of the myth of love.
Part 1: We get married because we are in love.
Now before you are start to think I am insane, I am not saying love isn't involved in a marriage, because of course it is, but that doesn't mean it's why we get married. According to my good pals Lauer & Lauer, while love is often involved, it is not always our driving factor for marriage. Love is such a complicated emotion and involves so many different factors. There are many things that we can confuse for love. Excitement is a big one. Excitement for having a family, for finding someone that we think we are comfortable with and can relate to. But that doesn't mean love. Some marry for convenience because let's face it, it's nice to have someone around. Someone who is your support, and this can most definitely be love or turn into love, but it was not the main reason those individuals got together, is it? Love can be developed despite any reason people end up married. Love is hard to understand and it is extremely complex. Love is awesome (so I have heard), when we truly understand it.
Part 2: Love is forever.
Don't get me wrong, I definitely believe in true love and all that jazz, but many believe that love will come by itself and that we don't need to work on it. I don't really think this view makes sense. But, I must say, as a person who watches an extremely high number of Hallmark movies, I can understand why someone might have a skewed view of love (I am that someone). To quote Dr. Peck through my professor "Love is a commitment to well being and growth." To go back to part 1 of this myth, there is a difference between being committed to a marriage and committed to each other. Love is something that you have to work hard on to keep. It's not something that magically comes and just last forever, as awesome as that would be. Have you ever felt a feeling that really does truly last forever? There will be moments when you are not feeling the love, but that doesn't mean to give up, and that doesn't mean it is never going to be there again. It is work, it will always be, but from what I can tell, it's worth it.
Love is a pretty big topic to cover, especially when I have never felt love, at least not in the sense I am discussing. If you want to know where I got some of my information you can check out the book Marriage and Family: The Quest for Intimacy by Robert H. Lauer and Jeanette C. Lauer. They know a lot more than I do.
