Friends After Marriage

I have a lot of friends in my life. I have quite a few close ones too. Opposite gender ones, as well as ones of my own gender. Growing up I have never seen anything wrong with having these close friends. So I struggled to see how having close friends could be bad for a marriage, even close opposite gender friends. These are just friends and I don't plan on making them anything more. However, as I looked more closely at this topic I have discovered that it might not be such a good idea to have close friends like that after marriage. Now I am not saying that your spouse should be the only other person you ever talk to. I just think we need to be careful who we talk to, and what we talk about with those people. 

When I think of the words "close friends" I think about the people that I talk to and trust the most. Now it may seem harmless to keep these close friends around, but first let's talk about opposite gender friends. These friends, no matter how hard you try not to, will at some point mostly likely cause tension. Sharing personal things brings people closer, and it can make you feel or think that you are more attracted to them, even if you don't realize it. People may not be committing physical infidelity, but a lot more times than people realize they are committing emotional infidelity. If you fight with your spouse and then go to your friends for comfort that not only brings the two of you closer, it also can hurt your spouse. Even if unintended. Your closest friend should most definitely be your spouse, and you really should not discuss things that happen with your spouse with your friends. What is even worse is when you talk to your friends about something that you haven't even discussed with your spouse. You do not need to have friends that you tell absolutely everything to, you should be able to do that with your spouse. 

It is hard to be around other people and not create emotional connections, especially in some professions. For example, a dentist and the dental assistant. Most people in this situation talk about their personal lives, and sometimes they may grow too close. It can happen to people without them even realizing it if they do not know what to look for. In these work relationships I feel it is very important to create boundaries and draw a clear line. Once we draw the line, we cannot and should not mess with the line. Try to not even get close to the line. Personal lives should be almost completely off the table. It can really mess with you. It is important to have these boundaries, or we may end up in situations we didn't expect. We may even find ourselves asking "How did I end up here?" We have to be careful.