The Wonderful World of Dating

Dating is so incredibly confusing. It just really is. Especially in today's society where we seem to have mixed up what dating really is. It seems like a lot of people feel like if we are spending time with them, we are having dates. This isn't always true. Dating in most of society today is really just us hanging out with another person and calling it dating. True dating involves planning things in advance and putting real effort into the date. It's not just inviting them to something last minute or having someone come over where you just watch a movie and don't talk about anything. Dating requires real conversation and quality time being spent together. How are you ever going to get to know a person if you don't really talk to them? By the way it takes a minimum of three months to even start to get to know a person, and that is if you are trying to get to know them. To be blunt, if you aren't talking while you are "dating" than there is probably a good chance that you never will get to know the person.

Another thing that is really big in the world of dating in today's society, physical touch. I talked about this in a previous post but it is really important that I feel I need to touch on it again. Too much physical touch can be extremely damaging to a relationship, especially if you don't understand how physical touch affects people. In my previous post I said that just sitting by someone can make you feel closer to someone. Now imagine you have starting making out with a person right after you start dating. It cause attachments to start to form. When this attachment starts to form, you start to think you know them when you really don't. This is just very concerning to me, as person who enjoys physical touch (like hugs and just being by people, nothing too crazy people, don't worry). I don't want to get attached to a person just because I really enjoy kissing them or something and have been convinced that I love them and really know them. Of course I am not saying that people who kiss never talk about anything or are doomed to fail or anything like that. I'm just saying that we should be careful. It hurts to think you know someone and realize you don't know them as much as you thought you did, or they weren't the person you thought they were. I have only experienced this with friendships, I can't imagine what if feels like to experience this with someone you are actually in a relationship with. Discussing things is so incredibly important and yes, touch is part of a relationship, but please don't let it take over completely.

Dating is scary and it's hard. Think of dating as the Three T's. Togetherness, Talk, and Time. Spend real quality time together, discussing important things. Be careful to not be too open too fast, and to have mutual self-disclosure. Learn about each other. This method won't protect you from heartbreak, that is hard to avoid, but it can help you go about it in a healthier way.